Jockeys - What the fuck are they?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Dr Lou Natic, Mar 11, 2006.

  1. Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon Registered Senior Member

    A troubling question hit me like a tonne of bricks this morning; what the fuck are jockeys?
    Then another one punched me in the guts: Where do jockeys get off?

    I've decided this is a job for sciforums. I haven't been spending much time here lately, been busy and not really interested blah blah, but this brainteaser clearly calls for the services of this forum.

    It's unusual that the jockey niche is always solidly filled. Because grown men weighing under 50 kgs are extremely uncommon, also horseriding isn't accessible to everyone, it's fairly exclusive really. Yet the horse racing industry always manages to have tiny athletes who've grown up riding horses.
    You couldn't even tell if a kid was going to grow into a tiny man, so could they really be scouting kids and prepping them? No.
    How many men as small as jockeys have you seen in other proffessions?
    It would be striking to see a jockey-sized man changing the oil in your car. You'd be alarmed I think. A dwarf would be less of a head turner, because you see dwarves going about their business within our societies, you don't see jockeys. You see them on saddles and that's about it.
    I would think any given couple is more likely to birth a dwarf, it's not common, but you know of cases. Jockeys just seem to appear on horses, out of the blue.
    I remember an interview with a jockey that I saw when I was younger, the jockey was asked a normal every day question about his childhood and he became quite visibly anxious and uncomfortable, take from that what you will.

    There's clearly something devious going on. Have you ever noticed how they all look the same in the face? Seriously, it's like they're all related.
    And no one else looks like that, only jockeys. Come on, this is more than peculiar.

    Another wierd thing happened to this one tiny guy I knew, he's probably the only person I've known who happened to be jockey size, but he didn't look like a jockey, he had full lips and white in his eyes.
    Anyway, he practiced and practiced his horseriding, aspiring to be a jockey, figuring he was about the right size.
    When he went to a horse club to see if he could get into the game they asked him wierd questions like what his serial number was and when he was confused they said "oh wait, are you just a kid off the street wanting to be a jockey?" and when he said yeah they clubbed him over the head and he awoke 10 days later at the dump with a fish skeleton in the cleft of his buttocks. Whether the fish skeleton was just part of the garbage or had been put there by the horse guys wasn't clear.

    So really, what is the story? What the fuck are jockeys?
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  3. Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon Registered Senior Member

    This is why they've been able to get away with whatever diabolical thing they have going on here. No one cares or pays any attention to the anomolies around them.
    They figured people were stupid and that they'd never notice that the only people on earth who look like jockeys are jockeys.
    Well, I've noticed, and I demand answers.

    Jockey looking humans just don't occurr naturally, they occurr at the track only, so what the fuck is going on down there?

    Let me ask you this- have you seen a jockey naked?
    Me neither, don't you think that's a little strange?
    Who's to say they even have belly buttons?
    And if they do, who's to say they don't have genetically engineered horses which birth litters of jockeys? That would certainly explain the belly buttons.
    And the fact no human woman has ever reported giving birth to a baby with jockey features.
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  5. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

    it's a jewish conspiracy.
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  7. invert_nexus Ze do caixao Valued Senior Member

    What about Mickey Rooney?

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    Last edited: Mar 12, 2006
  8. chuck u farley Registered Senior Member

    Some of the bull riders I knew also worked as jockeys.
  9. Killjoy Propelling The Farce!! Valued Senior Member

    Didn't you ever read Chariots of the Gods, by Erich von Daniken ?

    It's all in there, man...

    The ancient alien spaceports weren't there for nutthin'.

    Them aliens were jockey-sized, y'know

    Easter Island statues: All alike, just like jockeys.




    Bermuda Triangle...

    Area 51 - more alien shrimps...

    I'm just sayin'...

    On the other hand, concerning your contention:
    This site:
    How Do I Become A Jockey
    Offers the following ~
    Above all, we would state that before becoming a jockey one needs to be a "Horse man/woman".


  10. water the sea Registered Senior Member

    I once knew a Mormon missionary. He was tiny, about 155 cm and very thin. He'd make a good jockey.
  11. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

    Are you simple or something? Is that your problem?<P>
  12. Lil Light Foot Just a fuzzy lil Fyre ball. Registered Senior Member

    Not all jockeys are small, some of the best jump jockeys are 6foot or taller. I know a jockey, and she's 5'10. Flat jockeys tend to be small. The reason jockeys are small is because they need to be so damn light, and you don't tend to be able to get taller people to be that light and still healthy.
    Jockeys usually come from horsey families as well, and go from there.
  13. Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon Registered Senior Member

    Still no real answer...
  14. origin Heading towards oblivion Valued Senior Member

    It certainly seems that your name is very apropos...

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  15. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Just past the finish line.
    sweetpea likes this.
  16. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    This is a false statement. Extremely small people are deliberately sought as jockeys, for the obvious reason that there's a size limit. Most of us know this (if only unconsciously) because most of us have watched at least one high-stakes horse race on TV.

    But there are extremely small men and women in a myriad of other occupations. They don't stand out, for the obvious reason that they're not exactly easy to notice (in fact you might not see one because the guy in front of him is a foot taller), but they are, indeed, out there.

    There's an association for men and women whose height is less than 58 inches/147cm. They make up roughly 2% of the total population--which comes out to several million Americans. Unfortunately, dwarfism sometimes comes with other health issues, which in some cases cause serious discomfort, or actual pain.
    No, but I also have never seen a Congressman, a professional soccer player, a barber or a veterinarian naked.
    I understand that you're simply trying to tell a joke, but you need to understand that "little people" are really fed up with people like you who make fun of something over which they have no control.

    Do you also make jokes about amputees, or people with extremely low IQs who can't take care of themselves?

    Please avoid getting in the habit of being so rude.

    --Fraggle Rocker, Moderator staff
  17. iceaura Valued Senior Member

  18. Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon Registered Senior Member

    FR that was posted in 2006 when it was still OK to make fun of little people, low IQ people and amputees. For perspective the pussycat dolls were topping the charts and big momma's house 2 was in theatres worldwide. Slavery had only been illegal in Oman for 36 years. It was a totally different era.

    So check your enlightenment privilege and stop retro-shaming, frag.
  19. river

    Just small people , compared to most .

    Of course if you go through Castles , in Europe , British Isles , you will find small arches .
  20. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Sorry. Thanks for the explanation.

    Nonetheless, since we (at least most of us) stopped discriminating against African-Americans in the 1960s, it soon became inappropriate to make fun of just about anybody because of their DNA, appearance or handicaps.
  21. Dinosaur Rational Skeptic Valued Senior Member

    As a bit of a side issue: Dwarfs should not be confused with midgets.

    A midget is like a scaled down version of an ordinary person. A dwarf usually has short legs & a torso close to that of an ordinary person or is otherwise not quite like a scaled down person with typical proportions.

    A male between circa 68 & 74 inches seems to be an ideal height when considering overall health & longevity. Obvious for various special purposes, a height outside this range is advantageous.
  22. River Ape Valued Senior Member

    In racing in England, a high proportion of jockeys are Irish.
    I always assumed that they were the offspring of a leprechaun and a human female.

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