Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    Not true, by the way. You can't get where I am by CN or any other railway since they changed the station into a casino.
     
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  3. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  7. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  8. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  9. Sarkus Hippomonstrosesquippedalo phobe Valued Senior Member

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    One from the Xmas cracker brigade:

    Q: Why don't people make belts out of watches?
    A: Because they're a waist of time.
     
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  10. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    And another one from a cracker

    I am afraid for the poor calendar

    Its days are numbered

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  11. geordief Valued Senior Member

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  12. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    Must be messy taking them off and using the sewing machine to tailor them

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  13. foghorn Valued Senior Member

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    Here's a story that made me laugh at what some people would do to protect their right to have guns.

    The joke being Alex Jones has been saying these things and yet would probably be considered sane enough (by some) to own a gun himself.

    https://www.reuters.com/business/media-telecom/whats-next-conspiracy-theorist-alex-jones-2022-08-05/
     
  14. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  15. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    George went to a tailor shop to get measured for a custom-made suit. The tailor told him it would be ready on Friday.

    On Friday, George returned to try on the suit. He said, "Um... the crease on one leg seems to be crooked." The tailor replied, "No problem. Just turn your foot to point in the direction of the crease."

    So George turned his foot. Then he added, "And one sleeve seems to be longer than the other." The tailor replied, "No problem. Just pull it up and bend your arm to hold it."

    So George pulled up the sleeve and bent his arm. Then he continued, "And one shoulder seems to be higher than the other." The tailor replied, "No problem. Just hold it down with your chin."

    So George wore the suit home. On the way, with his chin on his shoulder and his arm bent to clutch his sleeve and dragging his turned foot, he ran into an old friend. "What happened to you?" his friend asked. "You look terrible! Nice suit though."
     
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  16. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  18. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    I'm always puzzled when I see an old guy (my age) wearing a Rolling Stones T-shirt. Then I remember that I like the Rolling Stones too. Then I remember that the Rolling Stones are older than me.
     
  19. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  20. O. W. Grant Registered Senior Member

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    Sarcasm 101 - SNL


    - - -

    Chandler Bing...
     
  21. O. W. Grant Registered Senior Member

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    Wheel of Fortune - SNL


    - - -

    Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks - SNL
     
  22. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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